Shahzar found Roderick snoring on a rock beside the waterfall. It was just before morning. The sun hadn’t risen and the sky remained a hazy gray. A thin mist trailed over the ground, giving the forest an eerie look. She could tell when she stood over him that he’d recently bathed. His dark, curly hair looked damp. His clothes appeared clean and no pine needles clung to the hems. She knew that somewhere, far behind her, Raynier would be rising to sing his prayers and find that she’d left his side—and she swallowed past the guilt she felt.

The queen sat on the rock beside the sorcerer. She touched his outstretched fingers. He woke as if he’d been momentarily dozing. Roderick smiled and squeezed her hand before he sat up. “The day is here again. Isn’t it beautiful to watch the sun rising to light up the darkness of the night?”

“Yes,” she said. “I must thank you again for saving my friend.”

His blue eyes flickered over her face, searching. “Do you want to come and see my home?” he asked. “I have a horse. I can take you there. There are so many things I want to show you.”

Her brow furrowed. “Your home? I hadn’t thought, that is, I should… I can’t. I have to go back to Kaladia. I belong there.”

He took up her other hand and scooted closer. Scents of the forest clung to his clothes, spicy, sweet and clean. She guessed he must have hung them to dry among the trees. His face showed no stubble, much like Raynier’s. His skin looked fair as porcelain, and his clear, blue eyes pleaded for her attention.

“You’re like the sun,” he began, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m like the moons. Come with me. We belong together, not apart.” His eyes sparkled with the pale light, making Shahzar gasp.

At last, she found him. A Shan-Sei, a man with the dark power pounding through his veins. The light proved it! But to go away with him? Away to where? To what end? “The sun and the moons remain ever chasing each other,” she said, entranced by his words. “They were not meant to touch. The heavens might fall if that were so.”

Roderick frowned. “Do you believe that?”

“I believe the sun should remain at day, lighting the sky and warming the fields, while the triple moons must comfort our tired souls when a black sky might make us despair.” Shahzar felt the underlying debate in what they spoke of.

“The sun would be cooled by the moons, and they would be a little brighter by touching something so brilliant.” He shook his head, tossing back the loose curls that threatened his view.

“Or perhaps the sun would fall into shadow and the moons would turn the day into a cold, empty darkness.” Her stomach tingled over his closeness. Shahzar felt no ingrained urge to pull away, to flee. She wanted him to slide his arms around her shoulders and shelter her close to his body.

“I hadn’t thought of that.” The realization wiped clean his smile.

With the expression gone and the light fading from his eyes, her thoughts turned to Raynier. “I have a son,” she said, thinking that would stop Roderick from staring at her the way he did.

He remained quiet when he pulled her into his arms and held her face to his chest. Beneath the folds of his tunic Shahzar felt his warmth, heard his beating heart. The wave of emotion that held her in such a state of panic faded away. She felt as though she could melt in his arms. With Roderick, she felt anything was possible.

“What about Raynier?” Her voice, muffled against his chest, broke the silence.

“If he cares for you, if he knows that part of you that no one else sees, he’ll understand.” The sorcerer swayed, rocking her like a giant child in his arms.

“He loves me.” Roderick tensed at the announcement. He didn’t let go, or stop the gentle motion.

“A star cannot outshine the moons when they’ve united. A star is but one of many lights that want to touch the sun. Tell me you don’t know who I am, that you don’t feel drawn to me as I feel to you and I’ll let you go back. I’ll let you go whichever way you choose. We’re the same, you and I. We belong to each other, together.”

“Raynier is good to me. I can’t abandon him.” With those words, he stopped, but still did not let go. She put her arms around his mid-section.

“Then don’t,” he offered. “Don’t abandon him. I understand.”

So strange, she thought. It felt odd to be free to do as she wished. All her life, people pushed her this way or that. When she didn’t follow the set path, she had to fight, negotiate or intimidate.

“I’m happy for any time that we’re together, no matter how small,” he whispered into her hair. “Lie here on this great rock with me. We can do nothing more than watch the clouds dance across the sky. I won’t speak if that’s your wish. I’ll be as still as the stone beneath us and only hold your hand. You can think all you want. Take days, week, even months, only let me be with you while you decide. I have waited for this moment all my life.”

Shahzar sighed. “Don’t be quiet, and don’t lie down. Just stay right…here.”

For hours she clung to him, knowing Irlecain could take Raynier back to Kaladia, by force if necessary. She didn’t want the council to rule. They were powerful enough already. She’d have to designate someone in her place. Someone that knew the council’s workings, a person she could trust until Al-Shamah came of age to rule. She would refuse her son’s future in the guards. She didn’t want his heart twisted and turned to stone as hers had been. I must protect him, she decided.

The sun’s light began to fade behind the trees. The sorcerer held her as close as he could all that time, waiting. At times, she could feel him breathing in the scent of her hair. Roderick’s fingers trailed across her back, her shoulders and down again, gently stroking her.

“I have to go back,” she said at last.

He frowned. His arms slid to her waist and he pulled back to face her. “That’s your decision?”